Does your spouse ever do things that get on your nerves? Come on, let’s be honest.  

And guess what? It’s a two-way street: you do things that get on your spouse’s nerves too. We all have idiosyncrasies and habits that bother one another because we’re all wired differently.  

Instead of focusing on the things our spouse does that bother us, could we learn to change our perspective? Could the annoyances and interruptions of marriage actually be blessings in disguise? 

My husband usually reads a chapter of the Bible when he eats breakfast in the morning. Years ago, before he used a digital Bible, he would leave his hard copy Bible on the table instead of walking to the end table in the living room to put it away. So every day, I’d pick it up and move it, slightly annoyed for being the one to have to put it away so I could wipe off the table.  

But one day it dawned on me. This little inconvenience revealed something really important about my husband: he was reading his Bible every day and I was able to see the evidence that he had. After I changed my perspective on being the one to put the Bible away, I was so thankful for it. 

Now that he reads the Bible on his phone, I don’t have that little chore anymore and I sometimes miss it. 

Or another example: this morning my husband asked me if I could iron his clothes because he was running behind. Ironing is not my favorite thing. I have trouble with making the creases exactly right. It was also not in my plans to iron this morning.  

But instead of seeing this as an annoyance or inconvenience, I chose to see it as a blessing. I decided to use the time ironing to pray for my husband. I imagined what decisions he would have to make and which meetings he’d attend while he wore the clothes I was now touching. I asked God to bless him and give him strength for the day ahead. 

Maybe your wife leaves the vacuum out or a pile of laundry to be folded on the couch. Instead of being annoyed, could you be grateful she is putting forth effort to care for your home?  

Maybe your husband squeezes the tube of toothpaste from the middle instead of the end. Could you push it up yourself and be glad when you see it, reminded of what a privilege it is to do daily life together?  

With an intentional change in perspective, these scenarios quickly turn from irritation and inconvenience to gratitude and beauty. Our marriages will grow stronger and deeper when we choose to change the way we see these things.