Hold Your Tongue

Andrea FortenberryBlogLeave a Comment

Have you ever said something to your spouse that you wished you wouldn’t have?

Or have you ever said something your spouse you knew needed saying, but the timing wasn’t right?

Of course you have, we’ve all been there!

Sometimes it feels really good in the moment to get those words out, but we can feel immediate regret afterward.

Communication is vital to a healthy marriage. We must be vulnerable and honest with each other. We must be able to talk to resolve conflict. We must discern the best method and manner of communication. Timing is a key component of all these things.

Today, let’s focus on the latter situation: saying something you knew needed to be said, but the timing was off.

The right words said at the wrong time can cause additional stress to a relationship. Bringing up an important topic when the other person is distracted, having an off day or tired will likely not be effective. Or in the heat of an argument, taking a pause can help cooler heads prevail. Waiting to have the conversation a later time can be very beneficial.

I once read a blog post once from a woman (whose name I cannot remember), who said she felt compelled to talk to her husband about something he did that bothered her. Instead of bringing it up in the moment, she prayed and asked God for wisdom on the timing. Weeks later, God provided the opportunity, and her words were well-received.

Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

James 1:19

James 1:19 reminds us, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” There is such benefit to listening and holding our tongue. Again, timing is key.

When we find ourselves in the waiting or trying to be slow to speak and slow to become angry, it’s important for us to self-reflect and ask for God’s help: in both what we need to say and when we need to say it. Tabling the conversation doesn’t mean we avoid it; it means we rely on God in the waiting.

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