A year or so after I got married, I heard Pam Farrel at a women’s conference. She and her husband, Bill, wrote the book Men are Like Waffles—Women are Like Spaghetti. The title intrigued me and when I heard her explain the premise of the book, it made such sense to me! It has helped me to better understand my husband and better understand why we often have conflicts or just plain see things differently—because we are wired so differently!

This is no accident. Genesis 1:27 tells us that God intentionally created Adam and Eve. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” He created male and female to reflect His uniqueness and different aspects of His character.

Honestly, sometimes these differences between men and women can be such a challenge. We think differently. We process differently. We behave differently. So there’s bound to be misunderstandings and frustrations.

What I love about Men are Like Waffles—Women are Like Spaghetti is that the Farrels explain the unique differences about men and women in a way we can understand. Here’s my quick explanation:

Men are Like Waffles

Men are like the boxes inside of a waffle. The boxes are organized and don’t run together, they have distinct separation. Men process life like the boxes of the waffles, they logically think about one box at a time. When they’re at work, they’re thinking about work. When they’re golfing, they’re thinking about golfing. They like to succeed at solving problems and avoid areas in which they don’t easily succeed.

Women are Like Spaghetti

Women are like the noodles in a plate of spaghetti. All the noodles touch each other, everything overlaps and there’s little to no separation. A woman process life in this same way: everything is related. It’s often hard for women to make decisions because they’re thinking about how the decision will affect many other areas of life.

That’s why husbands often get lost in conversation with their wives: she started out talking about errands she ran today and somehow, she switches over to how she bumped into the PTO President at the store, which made her feel terrible because she forgot to get back to her about donating items for the bake sale. This reminded her about bringing snacks for Tommy’s soccer game this weekend and how while she’s at the store, she’ll pick up ingredients to make a meal for Irene’s family, whose father passed away. Which reminds her that you need to update your will, so can you meet with the attorney next week?

Men can easily get lost in all the noodles and it’s no wonder they often have a deer in the headlights look because we women can be all over the place!

In this great book, the Farrels talk about different aspects of marriage, like communication, relaxation, sex, and conflict resolution. They give practical, Biblical advice on how waffles and spaghetti can successfully coexist. I highly recommend this read for you and your spouse. It will help you to better understand how God wired your spouse and how to meet each other’s needs.