Career. Kids. Church. Household management. Marriage. All these things require our time and energy. But in what order do we place them as priorities?  

Did you notice that I listed marriage last? That can happen during busy seasons of life. We can sometimes neglect the important for the urgent and marriage gets put on the back burner. Sometimes we can be in the presence of our spouse, but not present.  

The great news is that we can take steps toward changing that. We can create greater intimacy and connection by being available to one another.  

Spend a few minutes to analyze your current season: how available are you to your spouse? How available is your spouse to you?  

Grab and pen and paper and make some notes on the following areas:

  • Quality Time
  • Spiritually
  • Emotionally
  • Sexually
  • Listening 

What are the circumstances going on in your life that prevent you from being available to your spouse in each area? What can you do differently to become more available in your marriage? 

Have a conversation with your spouse to discuss your availability to one another. What are you each doing well? What changes would each of you like to make? Put some time on the calendar when you can talk without the distractions of work, kids or TV.  

Additionally, here are a few suggestions of how we can all make ourselves more present and accessible to our spouse:

  • Set a standing date or appointment: A date night would be awesome, but if you just can’t swing it because of time or money, a quick dinner out to talk once a week can draw us closer as a couple.
  • Cut something out of the calendar: Say no to something else so that you can say yes to your spouse.
  • Put away the distractions: We’re constantly distracted by our phones, TV, work, etc. Give those things a regular bedtime so you can focus on one another.
  • Go to bed at the same time: Greater connection and intimacy can happen when you end your day together.

 In the busyness of life, it’s easy to be on autopilot in marriage. But let’s not settle for going through the motions, let’s create strong marriages that thrive. Being present and available to our spouse will help us do just that.