Do your wires ever get crossed with your spouse’s? They just don’t get you and you just don’t get them. It feels like you’re speaking different languages.

Well, it’s kind of true.

Men and women are wired differently and therefore think, speak and act differently. That’s why you can both share the same experience, but have different opinions, feelings and thoughts about it. Pastor Andy Stanley describes this dynamic as the pink or blue spilling out of us: women spill out pink and men spill out blue. There’s a distinct difference.

And guess what? God designed us differently on purpose. It wasn’t an accident, He uniquely created men and women with different wiring.

In general, men want to be leaders, solve problems and be part of an adventure. They love pursuit and winning. Women, on the other hand, want to be noticed and cherished. They want to love and to nurture.

Instead of focusing on what frustrates us about our differences, let’s instead focus on and celebrate the benefits. Let’s think about how we complement one another instead of how we’re not the same.

Here’s an example:

Most men are logical thinkers and problem solvers because God designed men to lead and pursue adventure. When a wife approaches her husband about a problem, it’s often not so that he will solve her problem. More often than not, she just wants to be noticed, heard and loved. She want to talk and process her emotions about the issue.

When men are quick to jump in and solve the problem, trouble often ensues, right?

Here’s where we have an opportunity to change our mindset about our spouse’s approach or reaction to this scenario:

Husbands: instead of jumping in to solve the problem for your wife, listen to her and appreciate her ability to feel deeply and want to connect with you by talking. Notice her, hear her and love her.

Wives: instead of being upset when your husband gives you suggestions on how to resolve an issue, be thankful that your husband can see strategies and face challenges. Be thankful for his ability to think logically and not be driven by emotions that can cloud judgment. Be grateful for his desire to lead and pursue challenges and adventures.

Together, we’re so much better. God designed man and wife to complement one another and bless each other with our unique strengths.

So the next time your wires get crossed with your spouse’s, take a moment to pause and appreciate the wise wiring God designed for you as a couple.



If you’re interested in reading more about how God created us as men and women, I highly recommend Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.