Your Marriage and the Enneagram

Andrea FortenberryBlogLeave a Comment

Your Marriage and the Enneagram

Have you heard of the Enneagram test? Although it has been around for years, it has recently gained popularity, particularly among Christian communicators. It’s a personality assessment that has nine numbers or personality types. It’s not a Christian test, but so many Christians find it useful when we use it as a tool to better understand ourselves and our we need God.  

Here are the nine Enneagram numbers: 

1: The Perfectionist, Teacher, Reformer

2: The Helper, Caretaker, Pleaser

3: The Achiever, Communicator, Role Model

4: The Romantic, Artist or Individualist

5: The Investigator, Observer, Innovator

6: The Loyalist, Guardian, Questioner

7: The Enthusiast, Adventurer, Energizer

8: The Challenger, Leader, Protector

9: The Peacemaker, Comforter, Optimist 

There are a few different ways to determine your type:

Once you know your number, spend time researching more about your type to get to know yourself better. I highly recommend investigating about wings, which are the numbers directly above and below your number. We often tend to wing/behave like those types. Pray and ask God for insight and wisdom into knowing yourself better, the good and the bad. The Road Back to You provides a comprehensive view of each type, including how each type reacts under certain scenarios, like childhood, home, and work.   

Some people don’t like personality assessments because they say the results restrict them or label them in a negative way. That is one way to look at it. Or we can take the viewpoint that while the results may not be 100% accurate of who we are, we can still learn from what is true and accurate. Not only that, but these types of assessments also help us to better understand other people, particularly our spouse.  

Have your spouse take the Enneagram with you and investigate your results together. Once you know your numbers, don’t use them to say things like, “Oh, you’re being such an 8!” Instead, use each other’s numbers to help you better understand your spouse and see how your different personalities complement and compete with one another. The Enneagram truly is such a helpful tool to help strengthen our marriages. 

I’d love to know: do you know your number and/or your spouse’s number? Share them with us in the comments. 

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